Family

Have you ever taken the time to consider who your family is?  Is it about a connection or genetics?  I used to think that *family* meant the people who I came from and who I was genetically connected to.  Over the years I’ve come to think that it has a lot more to do with connection.

There are people who are your parents, aunts, cousins, nieces, and nephews.  If you don’t know anything about them as people, don’t talk or interact with them, if you don’t share your good and bad times I contend that they aren’t family.  In today’s technology age of email, blogs, text messaging, video phones, cell phones, and yes the traditional mail system still works there is really no excuse for NOT communicating with your genetic family.  Unless, of course, there is no connection….

There are people I’ve met in my life who I feel are my true family.  People who I talk with on a weekly basis, my children are familiar with, whom I send Christmas cards to and get them in return, ones that I look forward to spending my time with.  It’s interesting how much I may not have in common with my *true* family, but I still have a deep connection with them.  We all come from different backgrounds, different religions, different political views yet we enjoy each other company and choose to keep each other close.

Why is it that my genetic family who some of them have known me since before I was born don’t call or return my emails, yet a person I may have spent a hard and emotionally painful 2 weeks with following 9/11 will always keep me updated on their family happenings and what-nots?

How much are you supposed to try and try to have a connection before it’s acceptable to give up?  Why once you do give up (to save your sanity) are you the vilian for not showing up to birthday parties and holiday events?

Either way it’s really irrelivant….  People are who they are and i’m done trying to change them.  I’m going to nurture the *family* that I do have and not worry about the rest.  It’s really their loss anyway.

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Toxins

These days there is so much talk about toxins in our world.  Toxins in our food, toxins in the air, toxins in our everyday environment.  People say how it’s going to make us all sick.  They say how we should all clean up what we buy and how much we consume so that we live longer and healthier.

What about cleaning up the toxins that we contribute to our lives? 

Do you think that if we spent time with positive people, listened to upbeat music that spouted messages of hope and happiness, didn’t watch movies filled with violence and graphic sex, kept ourselves out of precarious situations we’d be less toxic as individuals?  If we could eliminate all the external environmental toxins that we voluntarily contribute to our lives we’d live longer and be healthier.

The next time you recycle your plastics or buy some organic fruits take a look around… Maybe while you’re saving Mother Earth take a look at your situation and try and save yourself as well 🙂

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Milestones

Anyone who’s ever raised children know that the early years are all about milestones.  When they roll over, crawl, walk, talk, sleep through the night, feed themselves…  Everyday they learn something new and exciting.  The whole world is about learning in the eyes of a 2 year old.  At some point in our life though, we stop having milestones and just work on getting through the daily grind. 

Think of how much we could accomplish if the average adult looked at life as learning milestones instead of regrets, disappointments, mistakes, and bad days.  Maybe each and every one of us needs to go through a certain amount of failure to reach our own personal *milestones*.  Instead of viewing a relationship gone wrong as a terrible mistake we can look at it as learning the types of people we’d want to spend time with.  We can see a failed friendship or work experience as learning conflict resolution.  There is ALWAYS as alternative to thinking things are bad.  Is it really as easy as just making a choice to be happy and learning from our life?  I think it is…

The thing about regrets and mistakes is that if they had never happened you wouldn’t be who you are today.  There isn’t a single person who hasn’t had hard times, but it’s how they handle them that makes the difference.  You can always improve on who you are and how you handle everyday situations.  The next time something goes wrong take the time to consider the milestone you just had and congratulate yourself on learning something today.

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Ever Notice…

… how we get short tempered and snap at the people we are closest to and love the most?  If our boss agitates us then we will be short tempered with our children.  If someone has aggravated us at the grocery store we start petty big arguments with our spouse.  When you’ve had a bad day you take it out on your parents, siblings and neighbors.  Why is this?  Is it because we think that those closest to us HAVE to love us and therefor how we behave doesn’t matter?  Everyone has bad days and times when they need space or time alone.  These are the times when it’s important to take a deep breath and THINK before speaking or reacting.  There are people in our lives who must love us (keep in mind they don’t have to like us.)…  our parents, our siblings, and our grandparents.  Then there are people who don’t have to love us…  our spouses, our children, our friends.  Spreading anger, tension, hate, bad behaviors, and ill tempers only creates more negativity and resentment.  What if everytime something of little relavance makes us mad we choose to smile?  Smiles are contagious so it may contribute to future POSITIVE behaviors.

I try to find learning lessons in something everyday.  Today my lesson is to LOVE (action word) and cherish those I am close to.  When I’ve had a bad day instead of infecting my family with tension and stress I’m going to turn to them for peace and strength.  My children, husband, family, friends, and neighbors deserve the best me that I can be.  There are very few things that will happen to me today that in 5 years I will remember with any detail.  If I lash out at someone who hasn’t hurt me my words will be remember in 5,7, or even 10 years.  From today forward I’m leaving all the baggage of life on the doorstep.

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Ever Wonder?

…why women generally have a constant competition with one another?  Are women more competitive than men?  I wouldn’t normally think so…  men compete in sports, to get a woman’s attention, in the job market.  Women compete about life, love, family, work, children…. the list seems to go on and on.  Woman can take something as personal as breastfeeding or working when they have children and turn it onto war.  Are we that insecure as a gender?  I know a lot of women who are smart, funny, beautiful, powerful… insecure isn’t something that i’d use to describe them; yet they are out there condeming those who don’t do as they do.

I think it’s about time that we take the time to appreciate one another and support each other.  What a boring world it would be if everyone was the same. 

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And So The Summer Starts

Remember the days of past when you were young and all you waited for was SUMMER?  You wanted long sun-filled days, beach trips, icy pops, no school, and bedtimes later than 8:30pm.  Was it really that simple?  These days it seems like kids want IPods, WII’s, amusement parks, and Hannah Montana.  Where did the simple good fun go?  Am I just old now or are my children spoiled?  Has summer really been reduced to a non-stop 3 ringed circus?

In a perfect world I picture getting up with my children in the morning and making a big breakfast.  Then we all play outdoor games until the little ones nap when I go indoors.  The children would play and laugh, take advantage of all the bikes, scooters, skateboards, sidewalk chalk, bubble machines laying around the garage and backyard.  After nap time we could take a drive down to the park or visit friends.  Dinner would be in the backyard cooked on the trusty grill, served at the patio furniture.  Then baths, some TV, and bed…  sounds perfect, right?

In the world I currently live in my children ask me what we are doing from the moment I wake up until the moment they go to sleep.  I take them to the pool at the YMCA, “What are we doing next?”.  I take them to play with friends, “What are we doing next?”.  I take them to the beach, “What are we doing next?”.  It seems like they aren’t content to just be children.  GO. PLAY. IN. THE. BACKYARD.

 

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Here we go….

This is the first time that i’m going to write for me.  I’m going to write about whatever moves me at the moment.  I hope you enjoy it, if not tomorrow is another day…

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